Wednesday, July 13, 2011

The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Suburbs

 wow, what a night, oh yes it really was such a night....

My beloved Priscilla was stolen...
and taken back!

Everyone knows how much I love my bike The Chook Man Santa brought me for Yulemas.
Now being married to a Copper can be a little nerve racking with crime and stuff.
Being the great Huzzleband he is, he reminds me to be careful, use my lights, and lock my bike.
Being the casual laid back hippie I am, I sometimes don't want to be burdened with it.

I'm visiting my friend Eleanor and her girlfriend Lynn at the Treehouse.
Lynn looks up and says "WTF?"
We all look down at the drive way to see a thug punk with dreads and maroon jeans, cause you know, camouflage is great for Thievering, flying out her driveway on my bike.
I'm running down the stairs, mumbling my bike my bike omgomgomg...he stole my bike, he stole my bike. Running back up the stairs saying call the cops, wait I'll call the cops, running back down the stairs, out to the street where I can see them down at the end of it {there was another guy with him} circling like buzzards.
I'm on the phone with dispatch, he's telling my to calm down, because the adrenaline has my breathing pumping like a pressure cooker.
The Probation Lady happened to be outside and asked did he steal your bike,
yes mam, he did  { still breathing like a pressure cooker}.
Eleanor comes flying out the driveway in her truck, I jump in, we go flying down the street.
Now, I'm pissed. Really pissed. Like going Turkish~on~your~ass pissed!
She was aiming towards the second guy with her truck,
and I'm yelling "no not him, there there",
So she aims her truck at the Thug Punk.
She stops the truck, shes yelling out the window "GET OFF THE FUCKING BIKE"
I GUARANTEE, he never thought two old white ladies would come after his ass.
Of course he took off running, jumping the 6 foot wooden fence.

Cause his choices were:
Get run over
Get arrested

Thanks to Priscilla being a Cadillac, she wasn't going over the fence with him.
Bastard destroyed my basket with bolt cutters trying to get it off,
tossed the cell phone holder,
but left the bell.
Hey dumbass, don't you think the bright ass blue bell would be more recognizable?

Like Chook said " good thing the bike lock was safe in the treehouse"
har har har.


  1. There is a time to be zen and a time to kick ASS.

  2. {Kris ~ Yes mam there is. My mom was upset with me for using the F word so much, but I told her "mom, do you think he would have given me my bike bake if I had just said "please sir, may I have my bike back?" lol

  3. There is a time for the "F word" and a time for
    "Please Sir" and it sounds like to me your timing was correct!